My life has been filled with ups and downs just as everyone elses. People say God only gives you what you can handle or what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. In the last 4yrs I have had dislocated hips, back completely out of alignment, 6 bulging disc, 4 herniated disc, 2 ruptured disc, torn rotator cuff, 3 shoulder impingement, and bone on bone friction in the shoulder which resulted in 18 months of pain mngmt, 16 months of physical therapy, 4 yrs of having to visit the chiropractor once a month, neck surgery, and 2 shoulder surgeries. After I had neck surgery my nerves over reacted causing seizures and migraines for 5 months, I found out I had cancer and beat it, got pneumonia, Had a miracle baby that by medical terms never should have happened, and now I am facing the greatest problem yet..... Due to emotional and medical stress during my pregnancy, my arteries in my head decided to shut down and/or narrow on the left side. The one that shut down should have created a massive stroke. Instead my back up system of blood vessels that I didn't know I had kicked in. It's a miracle in itself that I am still alive today. The only problem I am facing now is I have to have brain surgery to correct this. I have to have it corrected because it will affect my every being if I don't. The day I found out I got so depressed and was ready to give up. Two wks after I found that out I heard that my cancer my be back. It was then that I got PO. I was ready to fight for my life again. Thank God I found out 2wks ago my cancer is not back...YEA! but I found out friday my head is worse. Soon I will be starting another series of test to show the mapping of my brain and where my blood vessels and arteries stand. I will have to be checked by a cardiologist to make sure my silly little ticker is ok to handle what I am facing. Then the surgery to remap my brain. Wow!
Now I have some questions and if anyone out there can give me some good answers I would appreciate it. How much can one person take? How much stronger do I have to be? I haven't lived a hard life. I don't do drugs; I never have. I don't drink but on occasion. When I do it's not very much at all. I was a dummy and smoked cigarettes off and on for 15yrs. I am respectful to my friends, neighbors, and even strangers. I don't do wrong to others. I stand by my friends and family even when I don't agree with their decisions. I take care of my kids and my home. I don't steal. I don't cheat. I try not to lie but white lies are hard to avoid sometimes. So why can't I just lead a normal life again? Why can't I feel like a normal 34yr old?
I have faith that I will overcome this. I was told I would lose 40 to 60% mobility in my neck after neck surgery....I didn't. I was told I would never be able to move my arm past my shoulder and would never hold it above my head again....I can do it all. I was told I could have a limp for life....I don't and I can still run a mile. I was told I could never have kids again....My baby is 4 months old. My Carotid artery closed off....I am still alive. I know I am strong. I just want to know how much more I have to prove. I am tired! I want a semi normal life for once again.
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